1-25-09

Poker parody.

1-18-09

Sea kittens made an appearance on the Colbert Report. I beat him to it!

"Now they've launched a campaign to discourage people from eating fish by calling fish 'sea kittens' ... But more importantly, if I stop eating sea kittens, I believe I get to start eating what I like to call land fish [shows picture of cat]."

1-17-09

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it).

12-30-08

In case you missed the meme by about a year like I did: Dick in a Box.

12-27-08

The story of 2008, as told by Dave Barry.

"Obama, following through on his promise to bring change to Washington, quickly begins assembling an administration consisting of a diverse group of renegade outsiders, ranging all the way from lawyers who attended Ivy League schools and then worked in the Clinton administration to lawyers who attended entirely different Ivy league schools and then worked in the Clinton administration."

"More and more companies seek federal help, among them the troubled 'big three' auto makers, whose chief executives fly to Washington in three separate corporate jets to ask Congress for $25 billion, explaining that if they don't get the money, they will be unable to continue making cars that Americans are not buying."

12-19-08

Patient: I think my boyfriend and I have contracted either gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Doctor: What makes you say that?
Patient: Well, he's having kind of a pussy discharge from his penis and a burning sensation when he urinates.
Doctor: And what symptoms have you been having?
Patient: Well, I've had a sore throat...

-- Overheard in New York

12-12-08

"Traditions are an important part of Christmas. For example, when I was a boy, my mom and I had a wonderful tradition that went on for nearly 10 years, called: The Fruitcake Slam. I am not making this tradition up.

Every year, some people we knew thoughtfully sent us a fruitcake that was approximately the same density as the Hoover Dam. And every year, my mom -- who was, take my word for it, the funniest person who ever lived -- would declare, in her brightest June Cleaver voice: "Look, Davey!''

(She called me Davey.) "The fruitcake has arrived!''

And I'd say: ''Hurrah! I hope we don't accidentally leave it in the kitchen doorway, like last year!'' Then I'd open the kitchen door and place the fruitcake on the sill.

''UH-oh!'' my mom would say. ''It's getting drafty! I had best close the kitchen door!'' And she'd give the door a mighty slam. Usually the first slam would barely dent the fruitcake, so my mom would give it a few more, the two of us cackling like maniacs. This is still one of my fondest Christmas memories."

-- Dave Barry

10-27-08

PALIN: Hi folks! Sorry I'm late! I brought caribou burgers.

HILARY: Who the HELL is this?

MCCAIN: It's cool, she's with me.

HILARY: No! No, it's not cool! Every time you bring one of your rodeo-queen girlfriends in here she ends up playing some succubus infiltrator and killing the whole party!

MCCAIN: Now, that is patently untrue.

BIDEN: He has a point. Cindy turned out to be a vampire.

There's much more.

6-30-08

The website is down.

6-23-08

George Carlin died yesterday.

6-19-08

"PRODUCER FRANK MARSHALL immediately proves his commitment to using CGI 'only when necessary' by featuring completely necessary CGI prairie dogs in the first shot of the movie."

-- Indiana Jones 4 abridged script

5-29-08

The best of Craigslist. My favorite: Mom, I know you're there.

3-11-08

Hilarious.

11-28-07

Jerry Seinfeld stand-up.

7-8-07

Jim Carrey is not a fan of observational humor.

Seinfeld parody.