2-28-07

Comment
by Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

2-27-07

There are like fifty bazillion web pages titled "What I Learned Today." The hunt for a new blog title begins. I'm sure I'll think of something myself but submissions are welcome if you are so inclined.

2-26-07

Getting the most basic things done in relational algebra is tedious and a bitch.

2-25-07

The play I had to see for theater class today was about an uncle getting it on with his busty teenage niece.

2-24-07

"The need to be observed and understood was once satisfied by God. Now we can implement the same functionality wth data-mining algorithms."

-- Deus Ex

2-23-07

Today I lost two rubbers of bridge in six hands: one rubber in two hands, and the one right after it in four.

2-22-07

Kevin and Dave agreed to play Die Macher with me today. Awesome game, even though I didn't win a single election.

2-21-07

"I would really appreciate if everybody paid attention over here. Sleeping is okay, but no other activities."

-- Professor Kotelenez

2-20-07

Almost half of the people in my intermediate fiction writing workshop don't know how to write a grammatically correct sentence.

2-19-07

It's illegal to kill swans in Ireland.

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One of the girls in the poetry workshop wrote a poem about female masturbation. We critiqued that poem in class today, and everyone -- professor included -- discussed in great detail its manifold masturbatory implications.

The girl later said the poem wasn't about masturbation; it was about food.

2-18-07

Stephen Root, the guy who plays Milton in "Office Space" (i.e., the guy who sets everything on fire) was trained as a Shakespearean actor.

2-17-07

Whiskey tastes better if you drink it while wearing a plaid bathrobe.

2-16-07

After finding out that nobody else knew what the whole "Nantucket" thing was about, either, I did some research. My findings are a little bit too vulgar even for this blog, so you'll have to content yourself with a link.

2-15-07

"Attached is my psychopomp poem. It's about hookers, so it's gotta be good, right? I mean, right?"

-- Jon Vesey

2-14-07

All my friends are anti-fairy bigots.

2-27-07 Clarification: the word "fairy" here denotes little pink women in fantasy stories who have wings and flit around. Not gay people. As far as I know, my friends have nothing against gay people.

2-13-07

You can't copyright a recipe.

===

Tomorrow is a snow day!

2-12-07

Oscar Wilde was gay.

(I really feel like I should have known this.)

2-11-07

Someone who makes clocks or watches is called a horologist.

2-10-07

Julie: "Did your parents really buy you all that alcohol?"
Jim: "My parents love me. And they want me to die. Soon."

2-9-07

The "Game of the Year Edition" of Deus Ex includes a CD with all the songs. Finally I have the Deus Ex music on my computer!

(Hey. If you played the game, you'd know how awesome the music was.)

2-8-07

Anna Nicole Smith died today.

2-7-07

"Before we start today, could someone please explain to me why my next-door neighbor was snowblowing his driveway at 2:30 in the morning?"

-- Professor Bernd

2-6-07

Mormons believe that half of the Native Americans were good, and the other half were evil, and that the evil ones killed all the good ones before we got here; and that therefore, our annihilating them was a good and just thing.

2-5-07

Kevin thinks it's odd that people from the Soviet Union would move to America, since the two countries were technically enemies. I had to explain to him that most intelligent people in the USSR considered communism to be the real enemy, not America. Still, Kevin's point makes sense in a weird way. I hadn't thought of it before.

2-4-07

Board2Pieces. It's a webcomic about board games.

2-3-07

Puerto Rico cake. I'm so jealous, I don't even know how to begin describing it.

2-2-07

The term "suspension of disbelief" was coined by Coleridge.

2-1-07

Andy Warhol made several paintings by having his friends piss on copper paint.

1-31-07

It really sucks when you've got the beginning of a poem written and the ending and you know exactly what needs to go in the middle but the rhyme just isn't working.