12-28-07

Jim was all up in my face because I didn't know what a trivet was, yet he himself had never heard of the "not it" nose-touching game. Who is the bigger ignoramus, please?

12-27-07

"A girl would have to be very desperate to go out with you. No, I'm sorry -- extremely desperate."

-- Julie

12-26-07

My grandpa was born in Belarus.

12-25-07

"Do me a solid." This is officially the first piece of new slang I'm too old for.

12-24-07

The little stand that you put hot dishes on is called a trivet.

12-23-07

"Rumor is we've been infiltrated, so keep an eye out for anyone suspicious."

Candyland in other worlds.

12-22-07

Quack quack! Not to mention: Mieaw!

12-21-07

According to this review, the new Microsoft operating system is a great improvement.

12-20-07

What I want for Christmas.

12-19-07

Grapefruit is delicious.

12-18-07

Dave got me a new watch for Christmas! I've been carrying a watch in my pocket with a broken wristband for well over a year now.

12-17-07

Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's.

12-16-07

This election, know who's really wrong for America.

12-15-07

The Foo Fighters were founded by the former drummer for Nirvana.

12-14-07

Rock Band rocks.

12-13-07

The Bagel

I stopped to pick up the bagel
rolling away in the wind,
annoyed with myself
for having dropped it
as if it were a portent.
Faster and faster it rolled,
with me running after it
bent low, gritting my teeth,
and I found myself doubled over
and rolling down the street
head over heels, one complete somersault
after another like a bagel
and strangely happy with myself.

-- David Ignatow

12-12-07

"If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented."

-- Stephen King

12-11-07

Lansing is the capital of Michigan.

12-10-07

Tasseography.

12-9-07

First! Not to mention: Elderly Pwnage.

12-8-07

"There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others."

-- Niccolo Machiavelli

12-7-07

"According to the Arab News newspaper, the 19-year-old woman was gang-raped 14 times in an attack in the eastern province a year-and-a-half ago.

Seven men from the majority Sunni community were found guilty of the rape and sentenced to prison terms ranging from just under a year to five years.

But the victim was also punished for violating Saudi Arabia's laws on segregation that forbid unrelated men and women from associating with each other. She was initially sentenced to 90 lashes for being in the car of a strange man.

On appeal, the Arab News reported that the punishment was not reduced but increased to 200 lashes and a six-month prison sentence."

Gotta love Saudi Arabia.

12-6-07

Vector Runner.

12-5-07

Why on Earth would anyone go through all the trouble of owning a real pet when you can just get a fake one for $40?

12-4-07

"It's just a hard drive with games on it!"

Warning: extremely painful to watch.

12-3-07

Sudoku Toilet Paper. I'm not even kidding.

12-2-07

A majority, not a minority, of human beings are lactose intolerant. White people are the only exception, and they're the only people who make milk a regular part of their diet.

12-1-07

"Homeless people can't be dangerous. If they were criminals, they wouldn't be homeless."

-- Will

11-30-07

Evel Knievel died today. We all know he was badass, but apparently he was also a major toolbag.

11-29-07

Dave was at work till 2:00 AM last night.