3-31-07

Martinis (gin + vermouth) are disgusting, even if you drink them out of an official martini glass from Walmart.

3-30-07

Her comics may be retarded, but Natalie Dee is kind of hot.

3-29-07

The new theater professor does not acknowledge the existence of time.

3-28-07

"I did not understand that, neither accoustically nor by content."

-- Professor Kotelenez, to a mumbling student

3-27-07

The document camera is better than PowerPoint, but the chalkboard is still far superior.

Note to professors everywhere: write on the god damn chalkboard.

3-26-07

Vin Diesel plays D&D.

3-25-07

Puzzle Quest. It's a puzzle game and an RPG all in one! Only a demo, but it kicks ass. Try it.

P.S.: Don't think you're done when the storyline ends. There's a ton of crap you can do at your Citadel. Save up some money and do it.

3-24-07

Uncyclopedia: like Wikipedia, except everything is made up.

3-23-07

www.time.gov is a handy place to go if the daylight savings mess screwed up one of your clocks but not the other one and you need to figure out in a hurry what the freakin' time is.

3-22-07

Dave Barry dodged the Vietnam War by registering as a conscientious objector even though he's an atheist.

3-21-07

The Romans would sometimes flood the Coliseum and do mock naval battles. They would freakin' do that.

3-20-07

It is possible to write a short story in under twelve hours. It just won't be very good.

3-19-07

Leutner chicken isn't half bad as long as they don't do anything stupid to it.

3-18-07

Garden Salsa Sunchips are delicious.

3-17-07

In the Columbus area, there is a critical shortage of competent barbers.

===

It is ironic that AIM calls "idle" those people who are away from their computer doing something interesting.

3-16-07

Milwaukee is in Wisconsin, not Minnesota.

3-15-07

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."

-- Dave Barry

3-14-07

Today I learned a number of important things about ordering breakfast room service at the Hilton.

First of all, when you check the "6:30-7:00" box on the card, it does not eliminate the possibility that your breakfast will arrive at, say, 6:27.

Second, the breakfast is not delivered (as I had naively hoped) Fed-Ex style. They do not knock on your door, put the tray down, and walk away. They keep knocking -- once, twice, three times if necessary -- until you answer.

Third, your breakfast will be personally handed to you by an extremely well-dressed, extremely professional-looking woman. It is therefore inadvisable to answer the door in your underwear.

Fourth, it is really hard to print your name, sign your name, calculate a tip, and add the tip to the original amount, in your underwear, having just woken up, with an extremely well-dressed, extremely professional-looking woman watching you.

On the plus side, you don't know if she's hot or not. She's kind of blurry all around because you're not wearing any glasses.

3-13-07

It is no longer legal to carry bottled water on an airplane.

3-12-07

Country Fair
by Charles Simic

If you didn't see the six-legged dog,
It doesn't matter.
We did, and he mostly lay in the corner.
As for the extra legs,

One got used to them quickly
And thought of other things.
Like, what a cold, dark night
To be out at the fair.

Then the keeper threw a stick
And the dog went after it
On four legs, the other two flapping behind,
Which made one girl shriek with laughter.

She was drunk and so was the man
Who kept kissing her neck.
The dog got the stick and looked back at us.
And that was the whole show.

===

If you are wondering why I put poetry in this blog:

1) Some days, you don't learn anything more than a cool new poem.

2) It has bothered me for some time that people don't like poetry and then quote song lyrics in their profiles and web sites. Song lyrics -- which are poetry -- and the shittiest poetry ever written. So I figure I'll do the world a favor and put some good poetry on display.

And yes, I've come to terms with free verse.

3-11-07

Pythons aren't venomous.

3-10-07

Veronika Zemanova used to be a photographer. She only got into softcore porn because her equipment got stolen and she needed the money.

3-9-07

Online games have been garbage for a while, but here's an awesome one:

Show Jumping

and a few others that are pretty good:

Bot Arena 3
Elite Base Jump
Line Game

3-8-07

38% of video gamers are women, and that figure rises to 42% if you exclude non-online games.

The research credit for this piece of information goes to Danielle, my Communication for Engineers professor. She's an English grad student who plays WoW.

3-7-07

[Awesome critique from Chloe:]

Boris --

Damn, how do you have the stamina to write a three page (rhymed!) poem about chess? I think my rendition of this poem would have been,

"watch out kid if you play chess
a Russian Loch Ness monster will eat you"
The end.

Look! It rhymes! Sort of.

-- Chloe

3-6-07

"Our self-image plays a more important role in our lives than we like to admit. Even those who deny any interest in how others view them actually do care, if only by making sure that everyone else understands that they don't."

-- Donald Norman, Emotional Design

3-5-07

Sweet link, compliments of Sarah.

3-4-07

Ezra Pound was an anti-semite.

3-3-07

"You know what's really gay? Football. Instead of watching it, just have sex with another dude once a year. Get it all out of your system at once."

-- Jenna Fischer

3-2-07

I am not a true artist.

===

"'Don't touch it any more' cries the amateur. It is then that the true artist takes his chance."

-- Jean Cocteau

3-1-07

My dad watches CSI.