3-13-06

In fourth grade the teacher had us do a business simulation. Everyone received a hefty wad of paper money and brought in goods to sell; you had to sell your crap to other people and buy fun things yourself. Most people crafted nifty items and set up elaborate displays.

I was a lazy bastard. I brought in a package of paper cups and some Coke. Before class started I hastily scribbled "Coke 1 dollar" in pencil on a lined sheet of paper and propped it up on a textbook. The writing was invisible from three inches away. People saw that I was selling Coke but nobody had a clue how much it cost.

By sheer luck, I was the only beverage vendor. Many students brought in candy and home-baked items, however, so while I didn't make any money at first, the orders started rolling in once everybody had had their fill of cupcakes and cookies and pie. I sold tiny-ass cups of Coke for a dollar. I was raking it in. Then I ran out of Coke. My pathetic stand teemed with hordes of willing customers begging to be ripped off and I was out of Coke. It was heartbreaking. I could have been rich. I'll never forget the valuable lesson I learned that day: fourth grade sucks.