I didn't learn how to walk until I was one year and five months old. My startling incompetence could be seen at an early age.
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The Russian chemist Dmitry Mendeleev is best known for his discovery of the periodic law, but the periodic table is only his second greatest contribution to mankind. As a graduate student, Mendeleev went on a quest to discover the perfect vodka. After one and a half years of (no doubt) grueling research, he concluded that the ideal vodka contains 38% alcohol by volume. We therefore have Mendeleev to thank for the tasty 40% vodka we see in stores today, and I think we can all agree that vodka plays a role of much greater importance in our lives than some stupid table with letters and numbers written on it.
While we're on the topic of vodka, let me add that the 21% nonsense you pick up at the drive-through is garbage, suitable only for mixed drinks or hitting people on the head with (preferably the ones who bought it).
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